HIAC 2015 (Cherry-Picked)

WWE Hell in a Cell 2015

 (2015/10/25)

WWE United States Championship: Alberto del Rio vs. John Cena ©

Fuck you Alberto, you’re a prick etc. etc… The match wasn’t much, tbf. In fact, it was quite bad. These two never had anything that would resemble good chemistry, therefore, I wasn’t even disappointed. Look, I’m not bashing the match just because Alberto jumped ship, I simply thing it was uneventful and with no energy whatsoever. Cena is bad opponent for Alberto, put him in there with Roman, Cesaro and Harper. :) At least Zeb Colter did well on the mic.

bad

SummerSlam (Cherry-Picked)

WWE SummerSlam 2015

 (2015/08/23)

WWE US & World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena (US)© vs. Seth Rollins (HW)©

Wow, Rollins’ white version of his attire looks like shit. I’d make a 70s movie reference, but can’t think of any at the moment, because it truly looks like – SHIT. His black version is not good either, but this one is just horrendous. This match was actually very good until the moment it wasn’t. Obviously Cena got AAed like in every other big match, obviously we got another finisher festival, obviously a referee bump happened and that fucking chode John Stewart interfered. Obviously. Zero fucks given. Eh, at least the figure four leglock sequence was neat.

**

Cesaro/Cena in a Rematch!

WWE RAW 2015/7/6

WWE United States Championship: Antonio Cesaro vs. John Cena ©

Fuck, what a match! 23 minutes aired and I hear the actual ring time was around 30 minutes, that’s just crazy when you think about it, Claudio Castagnoli main-eventing a Raw show in a 30 min match against the top dog that is Cena. I absolutely loved their match from the last week and they did even better job in this one, if nothing they did a clean finish this time. One thing was wonderful here, despite the match’s longevity there was a feeling the match could end at any time due to nature of pacing and how they kept shifting big moves, submissions and slower parts. I loved all the callbacks and counters, it showed they learned something from the previous encounter, I’m such a sucker for that kind of stuff. The match truly felt like an exhausting, grueling war, it was super physical and they fucking sold it so well, it was raw and real. This was hundred times better than both Owens/Cena matches combined, simply because Owens wasn’t as versatile and creative as Cesaro was in these two clashes. Cesaro knows there’s more to pro-scrapping than just big bombs and “my turn-your turn”. I hope Cena learned something from these two awesome matches and maybe he’ll make the upcoming Owens match more compelling this time.

****3/4

And Just Like That, Cesaro Sneaks Into a WOTY Picture!

Steen/Cena: Part Deux

WWE Money in the Bank 2015

(2015/6/14)

Kevin Owens vs. John Cena

This sucked hairy, smelly bunghole. Look, I fucking love good spotfests, but this was a terrible one, this was just a gigantic MovesMania that was also totally aimless, dry and just generally ridiculous. When two indie workers do a match like this, they get labeled as spot monkeys, but when Steen and Jawn do it, they get ****1/2 star ratings. This match was bollocks.

bad

Steen Going Over Cena Clean Is Rather Cool, But the Praise Should End Right There

WWE Elimination Chamber 2015

(2015/5/31)

Kevin Owens vs. John Cena

Good match in general, but ultimately very disappointing considering all the praise. I guess many people think high of it because of “shock value” of Cena losing clean to a surly new aggressor, but that’s such a cliché at this point, as he already lost clean to Lesnar last year and to Danielson two years ago. So, it’s not that shocking. This match had a really good first half, borderline great matter fact, but then Cena kicked out of Steen’s finisher in the middle of the match… in Steen’s debut match, lmao. Obviously, it wouldn’t be your generic WWE/Cena big match style if an opponent doesn’t steel Cena’s AA finisher, and that’s the moment that completely threw me away from the match emotionally. The entire second half was nothing but big bombs and finishers, literally. Good match, but very disappointing considering all the hype, the early brawling portions saved it from mediocrity.

***1/4