Perro Versus Two Dickbags

AAA Triplemania I

 (1993/04/30)

Cabellera vs. Mascara: Perro Aguayo vs. Mascara Ano 2000

Semi-main of the first Triplemania ever, the big culmination of the heated rivalry, epic clash in front of 48,000 Perro marks, fucking great apuesta encounter. Perro loses primera via controversial foul, Dos Mil loses segunda via obvious foul (brassknuckles) and tercera was your good old lucha restart with big moves, bigger drama in front of electrifying fans. They created such grand high-end match by using nothing but the most basic moves and sequences, and the match was totally 50-50 because you don’t often see the hair losing to the mask, plus Dos Mil’s second, Universo 2000, is basically like the biggest piece of shit you’ll ever see and is fucking GREAT at cheating. Obviously Perro bled, but it wasn’t your usual Perro-as-a-slaughtered-animal bladejob. Mascara Ano’s mask was also red, but I couldn’t tell whether it was a bladejob or Perro’s blood. The only thing I’d change about the match is the ending. While the low-blow finish from Perro felt sooo fucking good to the fans due to Dos Mil finally tasting his own medicine and looking like a dork in the biggest match of his career, I’d still have preferred an additional blast or two. But nevermind, because this match is still a goddamn groovefest!

****3/4

Random Apuesta Shit

CMLL 1983/12/09

Mascara vs. Mascara: Egipcio vs. Rayo de Jalisco Jr.

Wow, what a superb match, such a tremendous “discovery” I checked the moment I saw it uploaded on YouTube. Lucha really is loaded with hidden gems, including big apuesta matches with famous stars. This was magnificent and followed your classic big match formula that always works, with three acts of rudo domination, tecnico comeback and tercera restart with big moves and drama. Egipcio was an awesome bruiser in first two falls, giving some really hard time to Rayo Jr., and the latter sold it perfectly, he was making those torture screams and noises, it was scary good and compelling. Third fall was pure perfection and what really launched this match into the stratosphere. Marvelous high-end shit with a plethora of mesmerizing workrate pieces, big moves, dramatic pin attempts and Arena Mexico going crazy. Incredible match.

*****

Atlantis/Sombra

CMLL 82 Aniversario

 (2015/09/18)

Mascara vs. Mascara: Atlantis vs. La Sombra

Damn, CMLL is really hitting it on all cylinders with big mask vs. mask matches for third year straight now. I’ve watched this one four times since Friday already, and it gets better every time. Totally stellar match, I was rooting for Atlantis, and I was so happy when he won. One of those feuds where you just don't care about booking consequences and the future, all you care about is your guy winning. And since I was so into the whole thing, I wasn't too emotional during Sombra's unmasking (unlike UG's from last year), I was more like "fuck yeah, not this year, you Ingobernable cunt!", plus he's a handsome fella and he'll be just about fine.

I find this match slightly better than Atlantis/Ultimo Guerrero, but it's very fucking close, like, 50,05% - 49,95%. Atlantis/UG was much more emotional due to huge backstory and UG being more charismatic and WAY more liked than Sombra. This year's main event only had a 6-week build, but they got the most out of it, and naturally it wasn't going to feel as emotional as last year due to Sombra being universally hated by the old school fans and being such a good douchebag rudo. If Atlantis had lost, though, then we'd have a totally different emotion-wise talk right now.

Bell-to-bell and workrate were clearly better in this one. Atlantis looked like he was working the match of his life, he was bumping around like a perky rookie, Sombra’s flying was spectacular once again, early brawling was awesome and its intensity carried on to the rest, Rush was such a glorious shit-stirrer, etc. Tercera was crazy and highly dramatic with all the neat and slick pin attempts and nearfalls, that shitcunt Rush interfered once again, etc. High-end stuff right there. Arena Mexico was going bonkers for the old man Atlantis, and when he won everyone was jumping out of happiness and hugging each other. Crazy! You’ll rarely see something this cinematic and emotional in pro-wrestling today.

So, the big mask matches in the last 15 years: Atlantis vs. Villano III > Blue Panther vs. Villano V > Atlantis vs. La Sombra > Atlantis vs. Ultimo Guerrero > Volador Jr. vs. La Sombra. All stellar and spectacular matches.

*****

When Pushing Your Carryjob Button Just Isn't Enough (One of Those Days)

CMLL 60 Aniversario

 (1993/10/01)

Mascara vs. Mascara: Mano Negra vs. Atlantis

Wow, this was such a disappointment. Mano Negra didn’t make much of the first fall while on offense, his supposed aggression was so bland and soulless, it felt tedious and didn’t do Atlantis any favor in playing the eternal role of a valiant tecnico who fights back. But Atlantis has always been an amazing big match worker, and somehow he made sure that primera gets somewhat memorable. In fact, he pretty much saved the match right there, because segunda had such a crappy ending (blind ref) and tercera was literally 20 seconds long before the Atlantida for the win. What a head-scratching booking! But at least the crowd popped big time for Atlantis’ victory. I haven’t seen much of Mano Negra, and after watching this match, I have no desire to see anything more.

One other thing, I watched CMLL Informa featuring Mano Negra few weeks ago, and he was wearing the mask he lost here. I’m so sick of all these old luchador farts wearing the masks they lost ages ago. YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MASK, WE ALL KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE! RESPECT THE BUSINESS, YOU SHITCUNT!

**1/2

CMLL Bastante Nuevo

CMLL 2015/07/17

Mistico, Valiente, Dragon Lee vs. Negro Casas, Mephisto, Ephesto

Wow, Arena Mexico casuals fucking loathe Mistico II. I mean, sure, he always gets some heat, but this is not your usual Friday night Arena Mexico event, no, this one has a huge ass crowd and they boo him every single time, no matter how much he bumps around. Children and women would cheer his dives and ‘ranas, but they’re outvoiced very fast by adult males. This match was kind of weird, it was all over the place and it produced both good and not so good moments. Negro Casas still did his thing, though, and it was great, loved the early matwork with Lee. Speaking of Lee, he was kind of non-contributor here, which is a strange (CMLL!) way to present your hot new tecnico. He also got some hate, especially after that one botch, lol. The endgame was Mistico vs. Casas, the battle of the captains, and obviously the crowd was heavily pro-Casas.

***1/2

SHITE!

AAA Guerra de Titanes 1999

 (1999/12/10)

LUCHA CALLEJERA – Mascara vs. Mascara: Octagon vs. Jaque Mate

One promising thing about this match was the fact that the wrestlers’ seconds were their respective wives. Just imagine the endless possibilities for dramatic storytelling where these middle-aged ladies have to stare in horror as their beloved foodbringers are mauled half to death. Now that would be awesome and plots basically write themselves, right? NOPE! Not here. The first half was some ultra confusing shit with a THIRD lady interfering, then two other guys came, we got a handcuff angle, then we got a tedious brawl through the crowd, and when we finally hit the ring with both dudes ready to fight – it ended. Man, fuck this match, fuck it in the ear!

DUDUDUDUD

CMLL Ketchup (two apuesta matches)

CMLL 2015/3/24

Sombra, Stuka Jr., Dragon Lee vs. Peste Negra (Felino, Negro Casas, Cavernario)

Pretty light-hearted primera, short and sweet match-ups, DL/Caveman was the best. The segunda was pretty much the same, only a little bit longer. The highlight was Sombra and Casas beating bajesus out of each other. The tercera was brawlish for awhile before the double foul/cheating by Casas and Sombra for the finish, which was funny, I must admit. All in all, fun match, but nothing that’ll stay in my memory for the rest of the week.

**3/4

CMLL 2015/3/24

Luciferno, Hechicero, Boby Zavala vs. Blue Panther, Valiente, Triton

Really neat and rather different than your typical CMLL trio match, probably because this one had Panther and Hechicero on opposite sides and as the central match-up. They had the opening scientific exchange on the mat that was absolutely brilliant and it set up the bar so high that the rest of the crew stood no chance in making a follow-up to it. They tried, but one simply cannot reach those levels of awesomeness. What surprised me most that the tercera and the climax didn’t have crazy balls-to-walls action and vivid topes, they rather built drama around tight nearfalls and submission struggling. Really cool match.

***3/4

CMLL 2015/3/20

Mascara vs. Mascara: Dragon Lee vs. Kamaitachi

This totally lived up to its potential, such an athletic, freaky and nasty apuesta slugfest that eats little babies. In a manner of typical CMLL booking, the first two falls were short, Kamaitachi won the primera with a couple of fantastic Germans, then dominated the segunda via heavy blasts but still lost it via super double stomp. Damn, DL makes that move look like a true killshot. They obviously banked everything on the tercera, and shit man, it paid off big time. They mutilated each other just like in all those build matches, they hit all the signature moves and the crowd loved every second of it. Fucking seven hells, they really fucked up each other on few occasions, those shots were brutal. They botched two spots, probably due to fatigue, but it wasn’t anything scary that would take away from the match. Fantastic lucha de apuesta and I so want to see even more of these two, I want to see them in two totally different situations now – for Dragon’s freshly won title and in another lucha de apuesta. Their chemistry is glorious and they need to milk every atom of it before Kamaitachi returns to New Japan. The most fascinating aspect of this is they managed to get the most out of such a predictable outcome.

****3/4

CMLL 2015/3/20

Cabelleras vs. Cabelleras: Volador Jr. & Maximo vs. Rey Bucanero & Terrible

So, Volador comes out dressed as Johnny Mundo. Mkay then. Another match with terribly predictable outcome, and another match where they did the most out of what they got. Logically, the first two caidas were insanely short and once again the tercera had to carry the load. They did tons of big moves, including some awesome looking topes, suicidas and other high flying stuff, both tecnicos were top fucking notch in execution. All things considered, it was good, but the ending was mismatched and prevented the match from reaching four stars. First Volador pinned Maximo’s rival Terrible, then Bucanero pinned Volador, and then Maximo defeated Bucanero to win the big match for his team. I don’t know, it seemed kind of anti-climatic considering what the actual feuds were. I wish they did 2-1 finishes for caidas 1 & 2 and 2-0 the tercera, with Volador defeating Bucanero and Maximo defeating Terrible. This way it felt strange to see Volador taking Bucanero’s hair after he lost to him just few minutes earlier.

***3/4